Looking back at previous writings that you have done. It's just so damn fun to cringe at every other sentence. It makes you seriously question your life choices from when you wrote that piece of garbage. I always like to think that one day I could be a writer, but then I look back at my past writing and go "noooooooooooooooooooooo." In related news I will be forced to take a writing test quite soon. I am really hoping for a prompt that is to my advantage. Writing is already hard enough, I really don't want to have more challenges thrown my way. It wouldn't be a simple throw. Oh no, it would be a god damn baseball thrown right at my face, only to hear, "Think fast!" 2 seconds before it hits me. School! A place where you can be yourself!*
In other news I am doing considerably better since my panic attack last week. I still have to talk myself through a meditation/calming exercise everyday. It's still so damn scary, going back to the place where you had an involuntary freak out, that actually screws you up for quite a while. I would really like to tell my friend, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't care one bit. Even if she did she probably wouldn't know what I experienced. I mean seriously, these are the symptoms of a panic attack:
- "Racing" heart
- Feeling weak, faint, or dizzy
- Tingling or numbness in the hands and fingers
- Sense of terror, or impending doom or death
- Feeling sweaty or having chills
- Chest pains
- Breathing difficulties
- Feeling a loss of control
As you can see, I underlined one of the bullet points. This is the symptom that has been hanging on with me for the longest time. And it's not like she could just log on to this website, see my journal, and be informed. No, it's not that
easy for me. I mean, literally everyone else knows but her.
But I'm not going to just shove it in her face, that's not who I am. I can get so easily separated from people I know so well. I didn't talk to her for almost 2 days. And this is the exact
same person that I want
to just go up to and say, "Yo I had a panic attack last week." But it can never be that easy. Why can't it be that easy?
Oh look topic change. Indents mean something along the lines of that, so lets just roll with it. I've gotten another friend into BBC Sherlock. First thing you need to know about me is that Sherlock is my life. I breathe and bleed Sherlock, and seeing someone get just obsessed with the show fills me with joy. That is all for this topic. It was a short one.
MOVIES AW YEAH! In case you are unaware, I am now on the topic of movies. The Muppet's: Most Wanted. *clap clap* With Tom Hiddleston. *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* Captain America: The Winter Soldier. *clap clap* Seeing it before seeing all the spoilers on tumblr. *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*
Actually I think that is all in this brief journal. Long story short, don't read your old writing kids. Especially before a writing test, as it will make you question everything about your writing. Now goodnight.